10 Painful Yet Hilarious Breastfeeding Facts You Never Knew
Unless you are a woman who hates breastfeeding for some reason, you would fall into the category of mothers who consider it the most unselfish and nurturing of human acts. Besides helping develop the bond between mother and child, breastfeeding is also found to be the hugely nourishing for infants, helps women shed extra kilos and is considered an experience that every mum must have.
Except when you actually get down to doing it!
Whatever information books, doctor’s pamphlets and fellow mums dispense freely, no one prepares you for the pain that breastfeeding entails. By painful, here is what we mean……
1. Breastfeeding Hurts
Every time the baby latches, it’s like tiny little pins poking through your skin. On some occasions you might even dread the breastfeeding exercise endlessly!
2. Babies Nurse 24/7
Did someone say, nursing burns calories? It definitely does, but what no one told you about was that the weight loss happens because there really is no time to eat. Babies feel hungry anytime, at any place and don’t follow their mum’s eating schedule.
3. Spouse Becomes the ‘Most Hated Man’
Love and cherished moments with husband immediately after childbirth, are soon replaced by shooting deadly daggers at him every time he snores peacefully while you’re feeding a voraciously hungry human. Sometimes you may even wish the spouse grew breasts!
4. Disillusionment Overwhelms
Whoever put together excruciatingly positive literature about breastfeeding is going to be cursed silently everyday, because it never detailed the experience of being at the beck and call of a tiny cranky human.
5. Breast Trumps Formula
Although formula is recommended as an alternative option to reduce the stress on breasts, the baby will be rooting for you in less than 30 minutes everytime.
6. Formula Trumps Breast
The baby taking to formula doesn’t reflect well on a new mum’s nurturing capabilities, or so it seems. This will make you feel guilty as hell.
7. Pumping Milk is Despairing
Often pumping milk seems like the only way that breasts get rest, but the output and how quickly it gets drunk, will ensure you tear your hair out in despair.
8. Blankets and Nursing Covers are Better Suited to Hide
Although a great option when buying them, these tent-like clothing make baby sweat and feel miserable, until you and he can’t take it anymore.
9. When Was The Last Shower?
Was it a day ago or more than a week! Minutes blur into exhausted days when all you’re imagining is a luxurious warm bath and counting sheep in meadows, while the spouse lies blissfully a couple of kilometers away.
10. You’re Stubborn, Yet Couldn’t Care Less
You’ll do all you can to force that nourishing milk down your little tyke’s throat, even if it causes you pain. Yet if you’ve tried & failed and cursed and despaired, the world will NOT cease. Not even a bit!
Mommies, breastfeeding can be wonderful and worrisome, leaving you feeling warm and fuzzy yet totally whacked out. Enjoy every bit of it with your child, but promise us you won’t kill anyone while doing it!